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Archive for the ‘poetry’ Category

We used to be six.
Now we are three.

Three producers,
Three males,
Three actors,
Three ex wives,

We smile, we laugh, but
No longer six are we.

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desires wishes dreams
calling pulling dragging
loving needing wanting
all mine all mine

lists and lists and lists of
hope hunger hankering
luscious lusts

piles and piles and piles of
cascading aspiration
accumulating repetition
altering echoes
still craving still anticipating

heart tugs
coaxing drawing
affirming approaching

list again?
yes!

again and again and again and again
yield without protest

greet every
desire wish dream
embrace extraordinary hope
breathe exquisite hunger
allow delightful hankering
hug them love them nurse them
sweet talk them
endlessly

grow them grow them GROW THEM

heart tugs

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At sunset I heard Joni Mitchell sing “Two Grey Rooms” on my drive home. The blues and corals swept the sky, my heart swirled with the unexpected changes, harmonies, and the vivid story. Perfection. Absolute perfection. Although I own the album, this was my first listen. I love firsts.

After catching up with a friend on the phone, one of those awesome conversations that are more like a trip than a talk, a melody wafted around my mind. I tried to corral it, but only a snip let me grab and then it disappeared, leaving five words to help me recall it. That wasn’t enough so I dialed Carmel to get the name. We sang this song together in May, but who pays attention to titles?! She didn’t pick up, so I hit a random letter of the alphabet on my iPod and pressed play, landing in the “Twe’s”. I fast forward through the “Twelve O’Clock” in French, midi minuit, then “Twelve Thirty” by The Mamas & The Papas…I have absolutely NO recollection of how they got in there. Weird. Moving quickly on through “Twenty Past Four”, “Twenty Past ten”, and “Twenty Past two”, in French, I hear three piano chords, and let the music play. Gorgeous chords. Sunset chords. The end of a beautiful day chords. Then Joni began, “Tomorrow is Sunday…” and instantly, I know. I just know…the answers to my questions today.

I drive through the serene camel hills, past the blissful delta, on home. Today is my grandma Rosa’s birthday. She passed on several years ago. Happy Birthday, Grandma. I pull in the driveway. My phone dings to tell me I have a text. It’s from Carmel: “Falling Slowly”. She names the song that led me to Joni Mitchell tonight. Sneaky…Thank you for that. Joni’s been on repeat for nearly an hour, and I’m ready to dream this song.

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floodgates burst
primordial injustice
no consolation
no explanation
no hesitation
vehement turbulence
no arms listen
no ears assuage
no heart embraces

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Un-scheduled

My Google calendar has just notified me that I have no events scheduled today.
No scheduled events.
All my events today are unscheduled.
My dashboard dictionary defines an event as: “a thing that happens, esp. one of importance”.
Nothing of special importance is scheduled to happen today.
That doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
It will happen in it’s own time, at any time.
I like that.
Important things will happen randomly today.
Nice.

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I take in

her glorious

news

congratulating

her awake

to the realization

that

it’ll never

be

me.

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Keeping Score

Blurring burnt sienna
Rustling lavish leaves
Taunting tufted tail
Squirrel 4 – Pitbull 0

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Winter Sunset

Manhattan Beach, California

Palmtrees tall and short
In threes, alone greeting the Setting Sun
Birds low over the water
Sun nearly disappeared
Ship still, on the horizon
forever blue, Jude Law blue
wild sage honey sky
Lone Gull
faded charcoal islands
waves laughing, giggling up the pier
cloud swirls
melted smoke-wafting clouds
Blooms closing for the eve

Sun winks at me, thanks me for being
her witness today
of a grand job done well. 
She’s gone,
an amber flare left in the clouds,
greys and greens veiling, fading,
a big river in the sky,
her path to tomorrow. 

Moon Sliver winked and disappeared.

I peeked at the dawn this morning
and celebrated the finale,
relishing all the in-between of this day. 

4:50pm. 
One more hour on the parking meter. 
Fingers chilled –
digit temperature dropping
a section at a time. 
Nose running,
heart warm. 
Honey rippled sky. 

A very good day.

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A View

She stared at the side of the elegant church with its Spanish tile and the rosette stain glass window, the steeple rising up behind.  It was no Sacré-Coeur, but it reminded her of it.  She took in the hills just beyond with the observatory and the Hollywood sign.  Just another evening after work.  Someone across the world would kill for this view.  Someone somewhere would catch their breath to think they were two miles from where the red carpet is laid for movie premieres  and Oscars are presented.

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“I liked your piece,” she said quietly with the power of a breeze on a stale day.  She, the mother-teacher-mentor figure I ‘ve wanted from my own blood.  I listen to every word, every example, drinking in, soaking every possibility of moving beyond my stuckness, my silence, my longing to live in that place.

“You start with voices, they are your base.  You look for colors, depth, shadow.  You leave it. come back, return, check a different angle, work some more — they speak and reveal themselves.  You work a bit more.  I like to have several projects at a time.” She shared.

“Like watercoloring.  I took a workshop once and they said that’s what the masters did–worked on several things at once.  As one dried and settled, they’d go to another piece.” I  enthused.

“Yes, much like that.”  She smiled.  Her calm soaking into me.

I relished the idea of having many things going on at once sans the guilt of incompletion.

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